My 8 hours diary..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

I am working 2 shifts back-to-back now, that means 8 hours straight from 12am to 8am..I don't know if I could manage it, but I know somehow I should. I don't want to make the hours go by empty, so I decided to make it beneficial by jotting down what I did and share it with you guys...Mind you, that these aren't my usual routine. The intention of this sharing is purely to encourage myself to be productive and to benefit everyone who read this post..and yeah, I'm also trying to stay awake...

so here goes...

======================================================

12.13am - Arrived to work. yeah..13 minutes late. I was lucky enough to get to go to work by car tonight, a friend was nice enough to lend me her car (actually she did not enjoy parking it at the garage, so she let me use the car instead. hehe). Unlucky for me though, only a few seconds away from Hank Ingram (my workplace), suddenly I saw in the rear view mirror, a glance of the unpleasantly familiar flashing blue light. Dang right it was the po po..Winding down my mirror, a young female police officer flashed her torchlight towards my face and said, "Ma'am, your brake light wasn't working. Can I see your license please..". With a sigh of relief, I handed my license coolly. The reason was expected, but the timing of such occurrence was not looked forward. I was late for work! But thank you Allah, I got out of the situation financially unharmed =)

(p/s: to the owners of the car, jangan marah eh I cerita ni kat sini..I love you girls so much la..=D)

=====================================================

12.30am-1.00am - Facebooking

=====================================================

1.00am-2.20am - I was blog-hopping from one blog to another. And I found this posted in one of my friend's..It's a khutbah delivered by my all-time favorite sheikh, Sheikh Yasir Qadhi. It was breathtaking as usual..

Some notes that I managed to jot down:

If you ask people what they want the most in life, they would say - Happiness. When we felt uneasy, have problems in life, we have to turn to Allah by worshiping Him, not turning to dunya. For example, when we came back from work and stressed out, we usually turn on the tv, get into social talk, or even backbiting, or visit other people. The things we did, might be haraam might be makruh..Compare this with the sirah of the prophet SAW, when problems afflicted him, he would RUSH to stand up and pray. He once said to bilaal "..oh Bilaal, we want to taste the sweetness of the prayer, do iqaamah quick..".

Once, Hassan Al Basri said, "..Seek happiness in life with one of 3 things - recitation of quran, zikir to Allah and in the solah. If you still do not find happiness, then the door of happiness has been shut for you, there is no other place to attain happiness..".

"There is a jannah in this world, the only way to enter jannah in the hereafter, is to enter the jannah in this world, and that the jannah in this world is the worship to Allah.."

[13:28] "Only through the rememberance of Allah, do hearts find rests.."

When we do good deeds, we are happy. ex: after we fast, after waking up for fajar, after reciting quran -- we tasted happiness. And the converse is also true - when we do sins, (and we always do), we feel that we become farther from Allah, changed our relationship with Allah. The only way to reach tranquility is to worship Allah.

Why do we let the world to seduce us? How many lectures, khutbah and nasihahs have to be told, so that we know? Tomorrow will never always arrive, what else do we need to convince us? How can we ask Allah for help when we don't deserved to be helped? For the sake of Allah, we must change, NOW, because we don't know if there is tomorrow...

We have to ask ourselves, "..what am I doing here? Allah SWT has given me 30, 40,50, 60 years to live." Ponder then act. Improve your life to be better. Only then we will reach tranquility, insyaAllah...

=======================================================

2.20am-2.45am - A few minutes before I found the video, I read this article in Suhaib Webb's blog, the post was about 'How to Taste Sweetness in Solat'.. http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/how-to-taste-the-sweetness-of-prayer/comment-page-1/#comment-15183

It was so reflecting and coincidently relevant to the video, I encouraged all to read it. An interesting story I excerpted from the article:

The Story of the Ansari and theMuhajir

In the sunan of Abu Dawud, it is narrated with a hasan (good) chain that in one of the battles, the Prophet ﷺ appointed two guards, one from theMuhajiroon and one from the Ansar. At one point, the Ansari got up to pray while the man from the Muhajiroon reclined in order to have a nap. A man from the mushrikeen(disbelievers) who was close by saw this, and fired a small arrow at the Ansari who was praying. It hit him, but the Ansari, with some difficulty, removed the arrow and continued praying as the blood seeped from him. The mushrik, upon seeing this, fired another arrow. The Ansari was able to remove it also and continued praying. However, the Ansari could not stand the pain of the third arrow and fell into rukoo’ (bowing) and sujood(prostration), and this is when the man of the Muhajiroon woke up, seeing his friend seeping with blood. Upon seeing this, the mushrik fled. “SubhanAllah! (Glory be to Allah!) Why didn’t you alert me when he first hit you?!” the Muhajir exclaimed. The reply of the Ansari was, “I was reciting a surah (chapter of the Qur’an) that I love, and I did not like to cut it off.” Allahu Akbar (Allah is great!) Imagine this person’s state in the salah(prayer).

I was also listening to this song (over and over again =P) when I read the article.. I was currently addicted to the song..(janji tau jangan gelak bila dengar..=P)

hehe =D

=======================================================

2.45am-3.00am - Facebooking again..

======================================================

3.00am-3.45am - doing absolutely nothing....can't stop yawning . ok dah penat. but just half way way through. how lah? =P

======================================================

3.45am - I decided to browse through some universities' website while listening to nasyid songs.. (mostly Mirwana's =P..I wish I have their new album...hmm..)

I also found this article from a friend's FB (ops..FB again =P). It's about 'Signs of the Munafiquun'. A must-read article. Short, sweet and a bit scary I guess...let's go through the checklist: http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~baba/impiman/series10.html

======================================================

4.40am - A friend at the other side of the world was kind enough to let me join an usrah online yang dia attended. dengar through skype dia ajelah tapi..in the beginning, they discussed Surah Al-Mursalat [77:1-end]. Later, they were talking about 'Hizbullah yg sempurna dan lengkap'....quite a heavy topic for me..usrah peringkat tinggi ni..=P.but anyhow, I gained something from the session.

My messy note:

Ciri-ciri hizbullah: [Al-Maidah:54], ciri-ciri kepimpinan (sama seperti sifat Rasulullah)- Siddiq (membenarkan), Amanah, Tabligh (menyampaikan), Fatanah (bijaksana-softskill), ciri-ciri ahli syura: pengetahuan menyeluruh dgn kitab Allah dan sunnah disertai kesedaran dan pengalaman semasa. ciri-ciri tentera Allah (jundullah): kefahaman, taqwa (tasawwuf, tazkiyyatunnafs), taat (haraqi). Pemimpin bertanggungjawab memimpin ke arah kefahaman.

Kisah Hatib bin Abi Balta'ah, sahabat yang mendedahkan rahsia jemaah- menulis surat kepada kaum Quraisy di Makkah memberitahu perancangan Rasulullah s.a.w. untuk menyerang kaum musyrikin Quraisy secara mengejut. Ijtihad pada waktu tu tak melabel dia sebagai munafik kerana niatnya bukan utk menghancurkan Islam, tapi melindungi ahli keluarganya dari kaum Quraisy.

the complete story can be read here: http://usahmadawang.blogspot.com/2010/02/hatib-bin-abi-baltaah-sahabat-yang.html

There were lengthy discussions that I didn't jot down, either I didn't catch it, the contents were too confidential or simply I was too lazy and too sleepy to type it in...=/

==================================================

6.20am - My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier......("~_~). Chatted with mom and friends to avoid sleeping...

7.36am - As always, the final hour always feel like the longest one. hmm...

==================================================

8.00am - DONE! Alhamdulillah! =)

Istikharahlah kamu..

Often, we have to make major life-changing decisions: to change career or not, to go to graduate school or not, to move out or not, to get married or not..etc.

Istikaharah means to ask Allah to guide one to the right thing concerning any affair in one's life, especially when one has to choose between two PERMISSIBLE alternatives. Solat Istikharah is a sunnah. It is a prayer that one may pray if one must choose between two choices: it is two non-obligatory rakaat (that can be recited separately or in combination with the regular sunnah prayers or the prayer for entering the mosque[....]during any time of the day or night, and to recite therein whatever one wishes of the Quran (any surah) after reciting the Al-Fatihah. After the two rakaat, one praises Allah and sends salutations to the Prophet 'aSAW and recites the following doa:

The description of Salaat al-Istikhaarah was reported by Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said:

“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur’aan. He said: ‘If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say:

(O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad).

An-Nawawi holds that "after performing the istikharah, a person must do what he/she is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and should not insist on doing what he/she had desired to do before making the istikharah. And if his/her feelings change, he should leave what he intended to do, otherwise he/she is not completely leaving the choice to Allah, and would not be honest in seeking aid from Allah's power and knowledge. Sincerity in seeking Allah's choice, means that one should completely leave what he/she him/herself had desired or determined."

Sources:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/6011623/howtopraysalatulistikhara, http://www.muslimconverts.com/prayer/How_to_pray_istikharah.htm

LIfe is ahead, why look behind?

CHOICES OF LIFE

(written by: Tamara Lesley)

If you were to peer into a looking glass

What would you choose to see?

A lifetime of many pasts, or a future of certainty?

My choice whould not be of the past,

Why look behind me?

I'd wish to see my life of uncertainty,

I'd have many choices to change my past

And who I used to be.

I'd strive for adventure in my life and

Happiness I choose to see.

For in that looking glass of time,

Much knowledge would I find;

Success and earnestness,

for life, I choose this time.

Many struggles ahead may lie,

my choice I have made clear.

Until my dying day,

I choose the life of cheer.

"Being trapped in the past is a biggest deterrent to being productive... past mistakes, past failures, past emotional turmoils that you can't resolve... here's a quick tip: when the past haunts you, take it as an opportunity to remember Allah's favour upon you that He got you out of that situation/Issue, instead of beating yourself down on things you can never change.." - quoted from Productive Muslim

Alright, here goes! =)

Time to change to a new layout! =)

oh yeah..I'm loving this one..call it anything you want..'girlish', 'too flowery'..I love flowers and I always do. A friend call me 'awek bunga' once, and so be it =)

And yeah, I hope Spring will come soon...

A trip to Surgery Room

Assalamualaikum wrt wbt..

Despite the abundance of work that I need to do, I feel like sharing a story from my day, probably one of the most valuable experience in my life..=). A bit outdated maybe, but I think the memory remained well-preserved fresh, at least for me..

Last Wednesday, Naziha and I was arranged to go see a hip replacement surgery at St. Thomas Hospital, just a couple of minutes from Vandy. This was not just an ordinary hospital visit. We were about to see how "surgical retractors" were being used in operating room, in order to give us a good idea to proceed on our engineering senior design project..

Okay, let's back that up a lil' bit. Before I went on with the surgery story, let me give you guys a good sight of what our senior project is all about..

Basically we're designing a "modular retractor" used specifically for hip replacement surgery. Retractors are simple bended metal made from surgical steel, surgeon used them to separate tissues from bone. They have same basic shape and design concept, the differences are only the handle length and the tip. Our project goal is to improve the current retractors design to become modular - by having mechanisms to lengthen the handle, and to be able to detach and connect the tip. It's a straight-forward concept, but far from the easy neighborhood...We can go for a complicated design, might work, but simple is what we're aiming for. And an engineer would understand how hard it is to make a design to be the simplest..KISS (keep it simple stupid, as my Prof. puts it)..Apart from the hard work, I'm loving the whole project because I got to use my 4-year engineering knowledge, and finally put it into action. These are some examples of retractors:

Alright..back to the story...we arrived at the hospital around 930am, met with Dave (our advisor, an Engineer working for Zimmer). We were expected to be in the OR at 11am, but only able to get in around 12pm due to some technical misunderstandings...Regardless of that, we got ourselves a permanent badge, mind you, PERMANENT badge. Means we can go to any surgery at anytime we want..=P..I guess that happened by mistake. Two businessmen that came in before us for surgery observation only got a stick-on name tag. haha. The old lady at the counter must have been pitying us so much for having to wait for hours...=P

hours of waiting, paid off.. =p

The OR, looks so much like in the movie. I'm a big fan of House MD and ER myself, so I appreciated it very much. We were wearing scrubs, complete with the mask with plastic covering just in case blood splattered, and yeah, shoe covering, if we stepped on blood (eww..gory! =/). The patient was lying down on the surgery table when we got in, anesthesied. In the OR, there were the head surgeon, Dr. Christie (our so-called client), 2 other doctors (Dr. I guess..), 1 lady whose job to pass on the surgical tool to the surgeon, an anesthesiologist, 2-3 nurses to help finding surgical instruments, a guy who observed the video system, Dave, and us two. Poor guy on the surgery table..! =/

As for the surgery, it did not look anything like in the movie, especially this one! A lot of hammering, drilling, sawing..simply put, carpentry work! =P.. I guess that's how hip replacement surgery was supposed to be like. And the people around the patient, well, they were less dramatic than the ones in ER or House MD. They all worked peacefully and silently, each person knew what other person wanted, absolutely with no words uttered.. I was understood that they had worked as a team in every surgery, that made them understand each other to that level.

Throughout the surgery, Dr. Christie communicated with us - me and Naziha..he told us every step he was doing, and commented on the surgical tool when he used them, wherever he found flaws on them. Sometimes he pulled out a retractor used on the patient, showed it to us who had to stand 3 feet away from the surgery area, and told us how we can make the design better (and yeah, it was covered with blood..). And one time, a small part like a screw came off a tool, and fell down INTO the patient's wound. Then he said to us, "See this, girls...this is exactly why I don't want screws or small parts on the retractors.. ". that didn't happen everytime, and it happened that time when we were watching! well maybe he did it on purpose,in any way, that was super AWESOME =)

The surgery went on for about 4 hours...and we were standing most of the time, we sat when our hips were beginning to ache. (Imagine how the surgeons feel...) Well actually, there were some dilly dally during the operation - Dr. Christie had to go to the restroom, missing surgical instruments, misplaced stuff and what not. And a bad-tempered nurse was not helping at all. Make that two! =/. There were times where they argued, and bad-facing each other.. It was not all happy after all. We chit-chatted with the video guy, he said that that did not happened everytime however. But people will always be people.. be it in a normal office, even in a surgery room..

We managed to consult Dr. Christie before and after the surgery, showed us our design ideas so far..and he liked it. He and Dave suggested some ideas..we gave us ours..It was all in all a fruitful discussion.

We went back around 4pm. We missed Zohor because we were in the OR that time (astaghfirullah..=(..). But all in all, we gained a lot in one day! I was proud of myself for not to faint in the OR..hehe. And we got more design ideas, a PERMANENT badge...and yeah, a wonderful experience that only came once in a lifetime! =)..ALHAMDULILLAH...

"Mengapa anda belum bersedia untuk mati.."

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Hari tu masa cuti summer kat Malaysia, diri berkesempatan menghadiri program STC (Summer Training Camp) Malaysia anjuran MISG (Malaysian Islamic Study Group US & Canada) yang dibuat di Kem Rimba Tamu di Batang Kali, Hulu Selangor. Program tu bertujuan mengeratkan ukhuwah antara pelajar yang bakal 'fly' ke US dengan pelajar US yang sudah pun berada di sana dan yang balik bercuti ke Malaysia....

Secara keseluruhan, program tersebut tercapai objektifnya. Walaupun personally, diri berpendapat modul yang digunakan agak tak bertepatan dengan 'intellect level' para perserta.. (dioranglah yang bijak bestari..bukan saye..). Kalau sape2 yang pernah dengar pasal KBM (Keindahan Bersama Mu), modul tulah yang digunakan. Modulnya bagus, sesuai untuk program motivasi sekolah, tapi mungkin tak kena dengan misi visi program ni kot.. wallahu'alam..

Kat sini diri nak kongsi sikit salah satu slot yang dibuat pada malam terakhir program tu.

Malam tu, dalam dewan, kitorang diberi sehelai kain hitam setiap sorang untuk menutup mata. Pastu lampu dipadamkan dan kitorang telah ditarik sorang demi sorang dan didudukkan secara jarak2 dari kawan masing-masing...kesian kat sape2 yang lemah semangat sikit tu..dalam fikiran waktu tu, 'ni mesti nak letak sorang2 kat tengah hutan or tepi sungai ni..omakk takutnyee..'.

Mujurlah sangkaan diri meleset..

Jadinya, nak dipendekkan cerita, malam tu kitorang telah diberi kesedaran mengenai hakikat 'MATI'. Untuk menjaga copyright modul KBM tersebut, diri tak ceritalah secara detail perjalanan slot malam tu. (ada yang kena saman kang..huhu). Secara peribadi, memang terkesanlah kat diri sendiri ni..dengan bunyi bunyian yang menakutkan dan siap bau asap kemenyan (ish, tercerita pulak), terputus kejap hati diri dengan kerisauan, masalah dan beban keduniaan. Waktu tu memang lidah dah basah dengan pelbagai kalimah ilahi je..

Lepas sesi bergelap gelapan dan menutup mata tu, kitorang telah didudukkan di dalam bulatan dan kemudian setiap seorang secara bergilir gilir di dalam bulatan perlu menjawab soalan cepumas yang diberikan...

"Mengapa Anda Belum Bersedia Untuk Mati"??

Saya belum bersedia untuk mati kerana:

"..saya masih belum tunaikan tanggungjawab terhadap ibu bapa.."

"..saya anak derhaka, degil dengan mak ayah.."

"..saya banyak dosa..solat fardhu pun kadang kadang tak cukup dan tak rasa bersalah pun tertinggal.."

"..tanggungjawab sebagai anak, ibu dan isteri (insyaAllah satu hari nanti), belum disempurnakan.."

...

Adalah antara jawapan yang diberikan.

Jawapan diri pulak:

"Saya belum bersedia untuk mati sebab saya masih rasa takut kepada mati.."

------------------------

Betul, kita tak tahu saat mana, tempat mana, umur berapa nyawa kita akan diragut Malaikat Maut...semuanya dah tercatat di Luh Mahfuz sejak azali..

dan realitinya, kita tengok dan kita sendiri saksikan mcamana orang2 yg kita kenal di sekeliling kita pergi macamtu je tanpa disangka2...

Bila jadi macamtu, timbul kesedaran kat diri...bila2 je Allah boleh tarik nyawa ni..sedang aku solat, sedang aku bermain, sedang aku melagho atau sedang aku membuat maksiat.....na'uzubillahi minzaalik =(

Tapi malangnya kesedaran ni tak lama, bukan? bila dah lama sikit, alpa semula, lalai semula....yaa ayyuhannas..ittaqullah!

Dan pada pendapat diri sendiri, diri tak rasa bersedia untuk mati selagi diri masih rasa takut untuk mati...dan takut mati tu kenapa? sebab takut amalan tak cukup, takut hidup tak diredhai Allah, takut sebab tak sempat minta ampun kat mak ayah...dan destinasi seterusnya cukup jelas untuk orang2 yg semacam ni kan? takut kan kan kan?

Jadinya sebab kita tak tahu pun hari mana waktu bila nyawa ni akan ditarik, tugas kita bermula saat ini adalah untk hilangkan rasa takut utk mati tu dengan cara mengatasi sebab2 datang rasa tkut tu.....let us all be a good Muslim/ah!

This is a friend of a friend, who was diagnosed with blood cancer...

his blog - http://masafzal.blogspot.com/

May Allah grant this brother continuous strength in this dunya and happiness in the hereafter...

Semoga kita semua berakhir dengan kesudahan yang baik (husnul khaatimah...). AMEEN!

p/s: mari kita sedekahkan Al-Fatihah kepada kaum keluarga kita yg telah pergi mengadap Allah, sahabat handai dan orang sekeliling kita yang kita kenal...semoga roh mereka ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yang beriman..AL FATIHAH!

Of Sociology...or just some sentences from it =/

Assalamualaikum wrt wbt...

It was such a tiring day.. (people who read older posts would notice this sentence came almost frequently..=P). Math probability quiz that I remembered only 5 minutes before it started, senior design progress oral report (it went bad..), swimming for a time-out, and then an ad-hoc senior design meeting late in the evening. It was hours too late that I was informed we're gonna have another meeting with our senior design advisor tomorrow morning..and I have one complicated CAD drawing due prior to that meeting...[sigh..]

Anyways, my intention was not to bore people about how my day went by...it was simply something else =)

I was reading Sociology 101 text book this morning while working at the reeve front desk. Flipping page by page, skimming word by word, I'm almost ready to doze off.. Suddenly, I came across a sentence or two from the textbook, that I found interesting and I would like to share..

"...Everywhere you look you see things that exist apart from other things---reality consists of parts and pieces. Moreover, at any given moment, you ignore most of what is within your field of vision and block out most sounds within hearing range. Only by selecting what to see and what to hear can we see or hear anything---to see and hear "everything" would overload our senses to the point that we would hear and see nothing. This alerts us to the most fundamental scientific activity: to isolate and define those portions of reality to be studied and explained..."

- Sociology, Rodney Stark, 10th edition

Besides the good wording, I think what is said made a total sense...

In terms of being a student, you have to choose what you wanna to hear, what you wanna to see, and what you wanna do...therefore comes the magic word 'PRIORITIZE'..

A college student who fails to prioritize, losses the valuable time he/she could use to do something more crucial, into doing nothing at all....Or looking at the other extreme, one could do too much tasks, ex: taking more credit hours in semester etc.. Being productive is undeniably good, but being too productive by disregarding one's limit and capacity will lead to 'pancit'ness..thus came the word 'SLACKING' It is only too late that one realizes that the hard work and toil are just fruitless uphill battles......sad..

On the other hand, looking at an Islamic point of view, we cannot select the things in religion that we wanna see or what we wanna hear only.. These 'things' include fiqh issues, quran and hadith, ibaadah etc..

For example, when we're stuck in something that we don't know whether it's haraam or not, we cannot go and seek fatwas that permits it and ignore the others..true, there are khilaafs (perselisihan pendapat) in some issues, but we can't go 'shopping for fatwas' that suits our wants and desires without considering the opinions of other schools of thought that might have stronger proofs...this is just pure ignorance..

Other example would be about quranic verses and hadith..we cannot take just a small chunk of quran verses and leave the other chunk to proof something..most of the time, to get the meaning of an ayat, we have to read the ayat before and the ayat after, sometimes we have to look at other surahs...this is the problem which I've seen happening a lot the with the non-Muslim during interfaith discussions..they argue some issues or teachings in Islam that they found as offensive, used a small chunk of Quranic and hadith verses that sounds like supporting the issue, and blame Islam as a religion that promotes violence.. It's like taking chunks of jigsaw puzzles and leave the rest of it. Can we see the big picture of the puzzle if we do this?

Sometimes they take Quranic verses literally, not being aware that Quran uses classical Arabic that has very deep and beautiful meaning in each words....this is why we are not recommended to read the translation (terjemahan) only to deduce something from the Quran, but to read and understand the exegesis/interpretation (tafsir) as well..

-----

These are what I come up with when reading a small chunk of the paragraph from the 'interesting' Sociology book..

Wait, did I just ignore the knowledge that the book wants to educate me..and wanders around thinking about something else..? =/

Oh well, verily, Allah knows the best....

Back to work!