Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Modesty and Shame by Nouman Ali Khan

Assalamualaikum wrt.,

I feel like sharing a very good article from Bro Nouman Ali Khan. This pertinent reminder can also be enjoyed from this beautiful video lecture:


وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَن يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ
“And those who, when they have committed Fahisha (shameless acts) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; – and none can forgive sins but Allah – and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” [Aal-Imran, 3:135]

Assalamu alaikum Qur’an Weekly – yet another reminder for you folks and myself, in regards to the wretched evil of shamelessness.

This is something that the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam feared the most for his followers, and particularly – I just want to be very realistic with you – I’ll share some advice from the Qur’an in regards to this ayah from Aal Imran with you. But before I do:

Look, we’re living in a time where you are constantly exposed to shamelessness. And you’re exposed to it so much, you’re desensitized to it. So when you see something lewd and vulgar – the first time when you do have your shame in tact, you get disturbed. But if you see it over and over and over again – you don’t even know what the big deal is. Why are people making such a big deal about it? And so you become desensitized, and then you start questioning, “Why does Allah make such a big deal of it? Why is it that it’s such an evil?”

Understand that when you see something corrupt, like something shameless, something lewd – something your eyes should not be exposed to… or you hear something your ears should not be exposed to… and you don’t find a problem with it anymore – it’s an indication that you’ve got aserious problem in your heart. Because your heart is not disturbed by sin anymore. Your heart is not disturbed by evil anymore.

That’s a problem. That’s a very deep, spiritual problem. And if you have that problem, then the rest of your iman, the rest of your faith – you will not be able to concentrate in your prayer, you’re not going to be able to cry when you ask Allah. Those things will disappear from your life. Because you have allowed for shamelessness to take over – to take over your life.

And today, you’re watching this and you have accounts on facebook, you have friends on facebook who have absolutely lewd and shameless pictures. I opened my account on facebook to try to get in touch with some of my cousins from abroad, and then people just want to be my friend – I don’t even check the account anymore. Because I’m scared, if I say “Yes, I want to be your friend” what picture I’m going to see. I’m terrified of that.

Why? Simply because we’ve opened the door, and we don’t feel like there’s a problem – not even a little bit. So this: whether it’s stuff you’re watching on the internet, stuff you see on TV, the kinds of things you say, the kinds of words you use (words can also be shameless), the kinds of language you use that’s shameless – these sorts of things, we’ve become desensitized to, and the more we become desensitized to it, the more spiritually we become bankrupt.

Now Allah says, in this ayah – He says:

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً
“And as for those who whenever they do an act of shamelessness” –

They look at something, they go somewhere, they do something, they’re with someone that theyshouldn’t have been with, they do something they shouldn’t have done – any form of shamelessness. “Fahishatan” implies any of it – the slightest bit of it, and the worst of it, any of it.

ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ
“They immediately remembered Allah.”

They immediately remembered Allah.

Imagine you’re doing something shameless, your mother walks in on you. Your sister walks in on you. Your brother walks in on you. Your father walks in on you. Your friends see you do something. How humiliated would you be? How embarrassed would you be? How sorry would you feel? You would feel like scum. You would absolutely feel like scum. But now Allah is saying, “You want to save yourself from becoming shameless?” If you do fall into that act, and it’s inevitable that you will – it’s fine that it’s going to happen, but if it does happen, your remedy for protecting you from next time “thakaroo Allah” – immediately, they remembered Allah. Not even “thumma thakaroo Allah” or “fa thakaroo Allah” – immediately they remembered Allah. Immediately.

فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ
“And immediately they asked Allah to forgive their sins.

وَمَن يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ
“Who’s going to forgive your sins if not Allah, anyway?”

See, when you do something shameless, you feel really bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, shaytaan comes and says, “How are you going to talk to Allah now? What face are you going to show Him? First you do this, and now you think you’re going to pray to Allah? You hypocrite.” And so you say “Yeah, I shouldn’t talk to Allah, I’m scum.” And you become distanced from Allah. And shaytaan succeeds.

When you do something evil, especially an act of shamelessness, something that’s humiliating – you go and ask Allah azza wa jall to forgive, immediately.

And Allah puts a condition. You know, you could become addicted to that. “Yeah, I mess up, I watch this really terrible stuff, and then I ask Allah to forgive me. Ah, I’m pretty sure I’m going to do this next week again….” Allah says:

وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ
“They didn’t insist upon what they did.”

In other words, when you apologize to Allah, when you’ve begged Allah that you should ward yourself off from this shamelessness, then you knew in your mind – you’ve made a commitment in your mind, in your heart, that you’re not going to come back to it. If you do come back to it – we’re human beings, it might happen. But in your heart, there’s not even the slightest bit of a doubt that you’re abandoning this forever. You’re abandoning it forever. You can’t give up.

And maybe you’ve tried before, and you’ve failed. You gave it up, then you went back to it. You gave it up, then you went back to it. You gave it up, and you went back to it. So you start saying to yourself, “Yeah, I’ve done this enough times. Probably I’ll be back to it.” No – you’ve already failed. No matter how many times you’ve failed, you cannot have that attitude. That attitude alone means you are notsorry before Allah. You’re not sorry before Allah.

So those are just some things about the way we have to pray for getting out of the cycle of shamelessness.

Just a little bit of additional advice – practical advice, practically what can you do in addition to the prayer? One of the things you can do is: Don’t be alone. Just don’t be alone. Be with good company. If you have free time, when do you usually you end up in shameless activity? When you’re by yourself. So don’t be by yourself. If you have a laptop or a computer in your room and that leads you to problems – don’t keep it in your room. Or keep the door open. And if you’re going to be with company that leads you into shameless behavior, if you know you’re going to go somewhere where you’re going to see things that are inappropriate – try to change that scene. Try to get out of that scene.

Spend – especially if you’re in college, you have like four, five hour gaps in between classes and you’re doing whatever, in that time – why don’t you just go to the masjid, sit there and study? It’s asafe place, you can’t really mess up there, all that much. Hopefully they don’t have WiFi, right?

But the idea is: save yourself from putting yourself in situations where you know you fall into that stuff. There are certain places in your house or in your environment, in your world – when you’re in those places, you end up doing bad things, right? It just happens every time you’re in that room, or in that place, you end up doing bad things. Then you should be smart enough to know that and get away from that place. Don’t be there by yourself. Don’t be there alone.

This is something you have to teach yourself to do, because I tell you: if you’re not able to ward yourself off from shamelessness… and this is a problem for married people and non-married people, but I’m specifically talking to those of you who are not married. When you do get married, you will have messed up married lives. You’ll have messed up married lives. You will have no respect for your spouse. Because you have no respect for shame. Marriage is an act that shows respect for shame. But you’ve already lost all of that respect because of your addiction to… whatever. Right – you’ve lost all that respect.

So you will have ruined – you will have ruined your family life – you’re not going to be able to be a good husband, or a good wife, or a good parent for that matter. So you’ve ruined your entire life over this addiction. Get out of it while you can.

May Allah azza wa jall make us able to get rid of our addictions. May Allah allow us to have the gift of good company that keeps us from these shameless activities. I’m not even saying do religious activities. You can just find a healthy alternative. Play sports. Play some basketball, ping pong, whatever it is. But just don’t go into that specific thing. Save yourself from that – before you do good, at least do no harm. At least do that much.

May Allah azza wa jall protect all of us, especially our youth. I pray, sincerely, for all of you, and the protection of your own iman, and the iman of your family.

Barak Allahu lee wa lakum, wa assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

2 sen pertama di Malaysia..

Assalamualaikum wrt...

Alhamdulillah..selamat jejak kaki di tanah airku tercinta..dah seminggu lebih jugakla duduk kat rumah ni...tak buat apa sangat pun..menghabiskan beras rumah je..=p sindrom orang lepas grad baru balik ni..huhu

Rimas jugak idle macamni..kalau di US memang tak senang duduk diam..mesti nak ke sana kemari..ada je la aktiviti yang boleh dibuat...oh oh..I think I'm addicted to stress! =p kat mesia ni susah sikit nak bergerak..nak drive jauh mak ayah tak bagi..duit pun kena mintak dari dompet mak ayah, xde pendapatan sendiri macam dulu...alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal...di mana anda dicampakkan, itulah yang terbaik Allah telah takdirkan untuk anda kan...oh well, bila lagi nak lepak2 dengan mak ayah macam ni..nanti dah sambung study, dah kerja, kahwin, ada anak, tercari2 pulak waktu untuk idle...

Anyways, menjengah2 jugak website dan artikel menarik untuk dibaca pepagi buta ni..mengisi masa terluang. menarik juga artikel terbaru Ust. Hasrizal di blognya Yang Remeh Bukan Temeh: Mulus Berbahasa.

Teringat pulak haritu haritu masa dalam kapal terbang perjalanan dari US ke Malaysia selama 14 jam, tiba2 terlintas di fikiran: kadang2 orang Malaysia ni terlalu tumpu pada detail2 dan ritual yang kurang penting dan mendatangkan pembaziran. kenapa saya cakap macamtu? ni hasil pengamatan saya selama 18 tahun hidup di Malaysia dan 4 tahun hidup di negara orang.. – di Malaysia, kalau majlis rasmi sambut VIP nak kena ada paluan kompang, bunga manggar, ucapan bergilir yang berjinggut orang mendengarnya. sambut VIP kalah raja! kalau sambutan raya pulak kena ada kuih raya berbalang2, kuihnya pulak aduhai bukan main detail nak buat. tu belum cerita majlis kahwinnya lagi. dan banyak lagilah...

Ni semua gara2 tengok panduan keselamatan flight MAS yang panjang berjela2 macam movie masa dalam kapal terbang haritu, padahal boleh diringkaskan point to point, lagi orang senang faham dan tak lost their attention. 30 minit sebelum sampai mendarat pula, penumpang disajikan dengan panduan berada di KLIA, again, panjang macam movie, dan banyak pula lagu2 yang promote malaysia yang serba cantik dan indah belaka..lagu pun panjang berjela! =p

Tahun lepas saya ada buat short intern di sebuah university di Malaysia waktu cuti summer. ramai prof yang pesan jangan buat master or phd di malaysia, banyak sangat politiknya satu hal. satu hal lagi sebab lambat! diorang sendiri cakap budaya kerja kat malaysia ni lembab sikit. (sangat kot =p) ! banyak sangat cuti, kenduri kahwin, prosuder2 yang melecehkan. master setahun setengah boleh jadi 3-4 tahun!

rasanya kawan2 pun boleh bagi contoh lain yang lebih konkrit dan kritikal kan..

So, I came to the conclusion that, budaya orang kita memang halus dan indah sangat, tapi kadang2 terlalu tumpu pada benda2 yang remeh dan leceh. pandangan saya, kalau orang2 kita keep it short and simple pada tempat yang sepatutnya, banyak benda boleh kita save – masa, wang, tenaga, produktiviti dan sebagainya...

Lagi, saya rasa orang kita perlu tumpu pada akar umbi sesuatu perkara, instead of busy nak mencantikkan bunga2 luaran.. cantik luar tapi akar cacat buat apa kan. haaa deep meaning ni..=p

mungkin ramai juga yang marah dengan statement saya ni..saya ni bukanlah dah lupa akar umbi, anti negara sendiri lepas belajar di luar negeri. dokaih! malahan kalau ada kawan2 yang dok kutuk mesia dan rasa oversea la bagus segala aspek, sayalah orang pertama yang tukang beta =p. sekali sekala kritik perlu juga..

ok lepas ni kena fikir apa saya boleh buat untuk baiki ini???

wallahualam..2 sen pertama saya di Malaysia...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Things that I will miss the most about USA - part 2

Assalamualaikum wrt...

OK let's continue..=)

the people..

I will definitely miss my American friends - even though not many =P..And I will definitely miss seeing American around...well, except during Friday night, and weekend night, and whenever they are not sober..=P..don't blame me.

MISG people - it's nice working with you guys..with the ups and downs we're in together..the beautiful ukhuwah will always be cherished..

to all Vandy people, I will definitely miss all 140-something of them...the Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors...and oh, also including all the graduated super-seniors who knew me well or just so-so....and especially to my the SENIORS Class of 2010..we made it guys! We survived 4 years in USA =)..THANK YOU ALL! you guys taught me about life a lot! I mean A LOT!

Vanderbilt people...the largest Malaysian community in the USA =P

And to every single one who know me or I know them....mak cik Front Desk, Pak2 and Mak2 Guard waktu I kerja Reeve, Abang Obies, Pak Cik Ramadan, Mak Cik Rand,..I will definitely miss you guys too..haha

Featheringhill Hall a.k.a. FGH, The Engineering School

This is where the Kampung Melayu of USA is..hehe..and no, I'm not exaggerating..all 140-something Malaysians in Vanderbilt study Engineering as undergraduates. I don't know what the Mat Salehs think, seeing us in that number.. a diverse environment? competition? threatened? and I definitely have no clue why JPA and MARA keep sending large number of students to Vandy each year even though Vandy is no cheap. I mean NO CHEAP - it's a private school. oh well, in anyway, I will certainly miss this building..and also other academic buildings I've studied in (I hope I don't sound nerdy =P)

I remembered having to sneak out from a 7pm-9pm exam, to pray Maghrib at a corner of the stair. Hoping no Mat Saleh will walk by me.

And I also remembered praying jemaah with a friend at a safe corner at FGH, and turned out it wasn't safe. We heard footsteps approaching us, and stopped and then walked away..haha.

I remembered got stuck in FGH because of the tornado, 2am in the morning...

and other countless memories..

Order of Engineer Ceremony..signing the ethics oath..almost an Engineer

Working as a Front Desk Reeve =P

Besides the income, I profited a lot from this job. A good resume booster when you boost the words, all the soft skills gained and oh, I've also got used to wake up 12am or 4am in the morning and go to work. That gotta be useful one day right? =P. There's not much work for the job really, I just have to sit at the front desk and help people who needs to be helped.

While working in one of the Reeve Desk. 4pm-8pm shift

Countless good and bad memories. The bad ones are of course when I have to deal with drunk people, or rude people, or people with no patience. Oh well, people will always be people..There will be one or two security guards around during late hours, so I'm practically not alone. If I'm lucky, I'll manage to engage into beneficial conversation with the guard - interfaith issues, any issues. If I'm not lucky enough, I will have to engage into unwanted situations with the guard - unwanted long conversation when I have to study for exam, or guard who snores so loudly that I have to listen to songs so not to be awkward =P ..good memory..of course when paychecks arrive..=)))

to be continued...insyaAllah!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Things that I will miss the most about USA - part 1

Assalamualaikum wrt..

I think it's about time to write this kinda post..since I'm less than 1 month away from graduation and less than 2 months away from leaving USA... and Allah knows better whether or not I will have another chance to come back to USA..sobs2.. =(

So..I took inventory of the things that I'll miss about USA..(not particularly or chronologically in order..). One day, maybe 5-10 years from now insyaAllah, I want to be able to read this post and said to myself, "those were the days...=)" and maybe cry...haha.


Going on road trips with my friends..

I have to admit that I will miss this the most. Be it a road trip to AlMaghrib seminars, AlBayyinah classes, MISG programs, or just a chillin'-out trip with my peeps...the feeling and experience of going out there in a journey, with friends that I love, is certainly unforgettable. Most if not all of our road trips, we drove ourselves... 8-10 hours of drive is normal average for a road trip..I've been in longer ones: 14-15 hours..gosh =P..We usually take turns driving, and along the road we shared stories - intellectual and even non-intellectual ones haha..

Road trip to Canada for RIS (Reviving the Islamic Spirit) Convention..the bestest masyaAllah! =) the most iman-skyrocketing experience, longest roadtrip, farthest destination..wish had more moments like that!

Road trip from Atlanta -->Birmingham --> New Orleans --> Panama City. The last destination was totally an ad-hoc because New Orleans was devastated by Katrina Hurricane. So we planned for Plan B that night, and headed to Panama city the next morning. Oh and yeah.. I remembered we ate only Maggi's and junk food for a week or so, for financial reason. Ended up everyone had stomach ache..oh poor poor us =P

Road trip to Ohio State University for Tamrin OSU - one of the most unforgettable road trip ever. One of the dangerous I might of the car (the car that I was in, and no I wasn't the one who's driving nasib baik..) spun like gasing in the middle of the highway, because of ice..I literally said my syahadah that time..laailaahailallah..near-death experience..what an experience!

Road trip to Washington DC for Eid Celebration at Malaysia Embassy - This one...had its own story too..we were the only all-sisters in one we were practically being ditched by everyone else..=P. I remembered there was 7-8 other cars probably..and everytime, we were the last one to arrive at the destination..either kena tinggal, or tertinggal and got lost...sian..=P

Road trip to Atlanta, GA for AlMaghrib seminar - one of the AlMaghrib seminars I've attended...can't remember what's the class topic for this one....

Road trip to Hartford, CT for ICNA (Islamic Central North America) convention - I wouldn't say it's a road trip though..but more to 'air' trip =P..we went there by flight coz it's a 16-hour journey by car that we won't be able to afford financially and physically.This was also one of the unforgettable journey..Naziha and I (just the two of us)..finally decided to go to the conference, quite last minute, during school's all worth it though. The experience, and definitely the knowledge obtained from the conference.

And..these are the earlier ones I've went to....

Road trip, Washington DC to Muktamar MISG-IMSA - My 2nd Muktamar...I was the co-driver, for 14 hours straight..but I pity the driver the most..driving for 14 hours straight...During the last days of the trip, we stayed at locals' houses. There were 5 cars for sisters so we splitted to 2 or 3 houses. Me and few other sisters stayed at a Muslim Kazakhztan's house..the auntie fed us very well..I meant too well! =P

Road trip to Ha Ha Tonka State Park, Missouri for STC MISG (Summer Training Camp) - It's an outdoory activity held by MISG..I just been to one, coz I wasn't in the USA for summer each time..the thing I remembered the most about this one was so hot in the day that we have to cancel most of the activities..other than that, it was a great experience..=)

It was such an broke down, car towed-away for bad parking spot, left car keys in locked car, pulled-over by police, took the wrong highway for 2 hours, near-death experience and list goes on and on..

So these are SOME, not all of the road trips that I have been to, from 2007-2010. How I wish I can put all of the pictures here to relive all the sweet memories ..especially the earlier ones I went with the super seniors - Kak Ena, Kak Raihan and others..oh well, people say a picture tells 1000 words, but I say what more important is the memory..=)

I realized that it will be not as easy to go on road trips when I'm back in Malaysia. Why eh? I guess money will be a problem, safety and parents' permission... Thus, I definitely gonna miss every single moment I went to a road trip here in US, with every single person I've went the road trip with and of course the experience and knowledge I've gained throughout the journey..

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

High Expectations..Good? Bad?

Assalamualaikum wrt wbt...

Is it good to set high expectations?

Well, it depends for who and how high...

It's important to set high expectations for helps you to work harder, achieve higher and make fuller use of your time. You will automatically work towards meeting those expectations, thus you are becoming more motivated day by day. Setting expectations in life and meeting them will definitely help to increase self-confidence and self-esteem. With a little success, you know you are capable of achieving something and thus you wanna do more. Although, one has to be careful not to set too high expectations because it could lead to detrimental effect, especially to one's self-esteem that is when the expectations failed to be met..Setting inappropriate expectations for yourself are setting up for deduction for this issue is..general rule of thumb: set high expectations, but know where to draw the line...

One might then ask, How do we know where's the line?

The key is to challenge yourself without 'overextending' yourself. You know your capabilities, thus you can set up your own appropriate level of expectations...for example: if you usually got C's in school, don't overextend yourself to get all A's in next exam..set B's first, then when you manage to achieve it, set higher for A's.

I guess the next big question mark it appropriate to set high expectations for other people?

I don't know the answer to this question so I asked 'Sheikh Google':

Your Expectations of Others

Just as your expectations about yourself can be harmful, so too can high expectations about others. If you constantly hold others to an unattainable level of high expectations, you will constantly feel like people are letting you down. This may lead you to believe that others don't care about you or that you don't deserve the attention of friends and family members. As you start to apply manageable expectations to yourself, it will also be beneficial to do so to others.

A friend then said to me,

"don't expect much azni, dengan org slain dri sndiri takleh ada expectation tinggi. kecewa and sedih tinggi nanti..."

From now on, I should expect more of myself, and least for other person..YEaHH!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

dedicated to all parents and parent-to-be. Yes YOU!

Assalamualaikum wrt wbt..

I just had an emotional Sociology class today.

We were entering Chapter 13 in the book: Family. A topic which can means 'nothing' to some people, or 'something' to others..

It's definitely something to the professor...


There are 7 Competent Parenting techniques, developed by a famous person (I failed to jot down the name =P). And they are:

1- Notice what your child is doing

This essentially means - stop everything else you're busy doing, and pay undivided attention to your child, especially during their infant years, and of course during the hard years.

2- Being able to see behaviors as they emerge by keeping track behaviors across time

Again - stop what you're busy doing, and give undivided attention to your children. Most parents failed to fulfill this as they are fully-occupied with their career life. Which is wrong! Parents have to watch their child and their child's behavior. Children do not behave 'all of the sudden' without any reason. For example, children do not develop tantrum suddenly unless something is bothering them. And it is parents' responsibility to recognize this behavior, why is it occurring and treat them. Or ideally, parents have to recognize this behavior at early stage before it becomes a habit to the child. Parents can stop the tantrum from being such and lead the energy to something positive. All of these require undivided attention from the parents.

3- Act as you want your child to act, and don't act as you don't want your child to act

Children copy what their parents do and say. Parenting doesn't mean you have the privilege to do whatever you want to do when you're not allowed to when you were children. If you expect you children not to do something, then you don't do it, or at least don't do it in front of them (sounds hypocrite a bit). Even if it is allowed for them to do it as they get older, children don't know this and they don't wait. The professor gave example of drugs and alcohol. Many cases showed that children had their first drink not from their friends, but straight from home - their parents' drugs and alcohol. Similarly, do we expect our children to be polite and behave when we were screaming and yelling and behave oppositely as we expect them to be? Many said parenting is about disciplining the children. NO it is NOT. It is about disciplining the parents.

4 - Set realistic expectations that are age-appropriate for the child

This is important. We don't put too high bars which are inappropriate to our child's age and capability, else they will be confused, exhausted and creates disappointment. However if we put too low expectations, we are almost setting them up for failure. Putting expectations on children are like saying 'I trust you', 'I know you can do this', 'I think you are a responsible person'. It creates countless opportunity to children in developing their interpersonal skills.

5- Correct children when they don't meet our expectations

When our children did not meet our expectations, it is important that we let them know. We don't punish them physically or emotionally, instead we correct them. Ideally, the term 'spare the rod, spoil the child does not applied here. The professor gave a story of how a shepherd guards his sheep.

A flock of sheep has a guide animal in front of the group where the flock follows wherever it goes. The shepherd will usually stand in the middle or at the back of the flock, and holds a shepherd's rod. He uses this rod to touch the guide animal, at its left side or right side so it will go to that direction and the flock will follow. This is how the shepherd guides his flock of sheep. Now, imagine if he hits the guide animal with this rod. The guide animal will be scared and run away. And what happens to the flock? They will scatter away --exactly what will happen to children if we hit them.

If a child was hit, he will be scared and tend to conceal his behaviors from you. When this happen, you will not know their true behavior and thus you are not able to correct them. If you make mistake, which you will always do, humble yourself to your child and ask for forgiveness, and never do it again. A child remembers.

6- Affirm children when they meet our expectations

When children meets our expectations, we acknowledge them by reward. A reward doesn't have to be stuff, a reward is more rewarding by showing emotions. Say 'Good job', 'Keep it up', 'I am proud of you'. Children appreciate these words a lot compared to tangible stuff. I agree with this 200%

7- Deal with your child at THE moment (immediate), act as it never happen

If anything happens to your children, your children did something, good or bad, you have to deal with them at the moment. Correct them, and act as it never happen. And if something similar to it happen again which it will always do, do not say the past. The past is past. Don't say to them 'you did this yesterday, 5 days ago, last year..'. Just deal with the issue at that moment, and redeem.


Why did I say it's an emotional class?

Because the professor broke down and cried at point no. 5 until the end of class.

She lost her only son. He died at least 1 year back.

Seeing her like that, and anything about family always breaks my heart - I broke down into tears also..

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Self-reflective psychology

A very reflective speech by Sheikh Yassir Fazaga, about self-image psychology.

How we feel about ourselves determine how other people feels about us.

I loved lectures delivered by Sheikh Yassir Fazaga. Always on the point.

Try searching for others on Youtube.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

My 8 hours diary..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

I am working 2 shifts back-to-back now, that means 8 hours straight from 12am to 8am..I don't know if I could manage it, but I know somehow I should. I don't want to make the hours go by empty, so I decided to make it beneficial by jotting down what I did and share it with you guys...Mind you, that these aren't my usual routine. The intention of this sharing is purely to encourage myself to be productive and to benefit everyone who read this post..and yeah, I'm also trying to stay awake...

so here goes...

12.13am - Arrived to work. yeah..13 minutes late. I was lucky enough to get to go to work by car tonight, a friend was nice enough to lend me her car (actually she did not enjoy parking it at the garage, so she let me use the car instead. hehe). Unlucky for me though, only a few seconds away from Hank Ingram (my workplace), suddenly I saw in the rear view mirror, a glance of the unpleasantly familiar flashing blue light. Dang right it was the po po..Winding down my mirror, a young female police officer flashed her torchlight towards my face and said, "Ma'am, your brake light wasn't working. Can I see your license please..". With a sigh of relief, I handed my license coolly. The reason was expected, but the timing of such occurrence was not looked forward. I was late for work! But thank you Allah, I got out of the situation financially unharmed =)

(p/s: to the owners of the car, jangan marah eh I cerita ni kat sini..I love you girls so much la..=D)

12.30am-1.00am - Facebooking

1.00am-2.20am - I was blog-hopping from one blog to another. And I found this posted in one of my friend's..It's a khutbah delivered by my all-time favorite sheikh, Sheikh Yasir Qadhi. It was breathtaking as usual..

Some notes that I managed to jot down:

If you ask people what they want the most in life, they would say - Happiness. When we felt uneasy, have problems in life, we have to turn to Allah by worshiping Him, not turning to dunya. For example, when we came back from work and stressed out, we usually turn on the tv, get into social talk, or even backbiting, or visit other people. The things we did, might be haraam might be makruh..Compare this with the sirah of the prophet SAW, when problems afflicted him, he would RUSH to stand up and pray. He once said to bilaal "..oh Bilaal, we want to taste the sweetness of the prayer, do iqaamah quick..".

Once, Hassan Al Basri said, "..Seek happiness in life with one of 3 things - recitation of quran, zikir to Allah and in the solah. If you still do not find happiness, then the door of happiness has been shut for you, there is no other place to attain happiness..".

"There is a jannah in this world, the only way to enter jannah in the hereafter, is to enter the jannah in this world, and that the jannah in this world is the worship to Allah.."

[13:28] "Only through the rememberance of Allah, do hearts find rests.."

When we do good deeds, we are happy. ex: after we fast, after waking up for fajar, after reciting quran -- we tasted happiness. And the converse is also true - when we do sins, (and we always do), we feel that we become farther from Allah, changed our relationship with Allah. The only way to reach tranquility is to worship Allah.

Why do we let the world to seduce us? How many lectures, khutbah and nasihahs have to be told, so that we know? Tomorrow will never always arrive, what else do we need to convince us? How can we ask Allah for help when we don't deserved to be helped? For the sake of Allah, we must change, NOW, because we don't know if there is tomorrow...

We have to ask ourselves, "..what am I doing here? Allah SWT has given me 30, 40,50, 60 years to live." Ponder then act. Improve your life to be better. Only then we will reach tranquility, insyaAllah...

2.20am-2.45am - A few minutes before I found the video, I read this article in Suhaib Webb's blog, the post was about 'How to Taste Sweetness in Solat'..

It was so reflecting and coincidently relevant to the video, I encouraged all to read it. An interesting story I excerpted from the article:

The Story of the Ansari and theMuhajir

In the sunan of Abu Dawud, it is narrated with a hasan (good) chain that in one of the battles, the Prophet ﷺ appointed two guards, one from theMuhajiroon and one from the Ansar. At one point, the Ansari got up to pray while the man from the Muhajiroon reclined in order to have a nap. A man from the mushrikeen(disbelievers) who was close by saw this, and fired a small arrow at the Ansari who was praying. It hit him, but the Ansari, with some difficulty, removed the arrow and continued praying as the blood seeped from him. The mushrik, upon seeing this, fired another arrow. The Ansari was able to remove it also and continued praying. However, the Ansari could not stand the pain of the third arrow and fell into rukoo’ (bowing) and sujood(prostration), and this is when the man of the Muhajiroon woke up, seeing his friend seeping with blood. Upon seeing this, the mushrik fled. “SubhanAllah! (Glory be to Allah!) Why didn’t you alert me when he first hit you?!” the Muhajir exclaimed. The reply of the Ansari was, “I was reciting a surah (chapter of the Qur’an) that I love, and I did not like to cut it off.” Allahu Akbar (Allah is great!) Imagine this person’s state in the salah(prayer).

I was also listening to this song (over and over again =P) when I read the article.. I was currently addicted to the song..(janji tau jangan gelak bila dengar..=P)

hehe =D

2.45am-3.00am - Facebooking again..

3.00am-3.45am - doing absolutely nothing....can't stop yawning . ok dah penat. but just half way way through. how lah? =P

3.45am - I decided to browse through some universities' website while listening to nasyid songs.. (mostly Mirwana's =P..I wish I have their new album...hmm..)

I also found this article from a friend's FB (ops..FB again =P). It's about 'Signs of the Munafiquun'. A must-read article. Short, sweet and a bit scary I guess...let's go through the checklist:

4.40am - A friend at the other side of the world was kind enough to let me join an usrah online yang dia attended. dengar through skype dia ajelah the beginning, they discussed Surah Al-Mursalat [77:1-end]. Later, they were talking about 'Hizbullah yg sempurna dan lengkap'....quite a heavy topic for me..usrah peringkat tinggi ni..=P.but anyhow, I gained something from the session.

My messy note:

Ciri-ciri hizbullah: [Al-Maidah:54], ciri-ciri kepimpinan (sama seperti sifat Rasulullah)- Siddiq (membenarkan), Amanah, Tabligh (menyampaikan), Fatanah (bijaksana-softskill), ciri-ciri ahli syura: pengetahuan menyeluruh dgn kitab Allah dan sunnah disertai kesedaran dan pengalaman semasa. ciri-ciri tentera Allah (jundullah): kefahaman, taqwa (tasawwuf, tazkiyyatunnafs), taat (haraqi). Pemimpin bertanggungjawab memimpin ke arah kefahaman.

Kisah Hatib bin Abi Balta'ah, sahabat yang mendedahkan rahsia jemaah- menulis surat kepada kaum Quraisy di Makkah memberitahu perancangan Rasulullah s.a.w. untuk menyerang kaum musyrikin Quraisy secara mengejut. Ijtihad pada waktu tu tak melabel dia sebagai munafik kerana niatnya bukan utk menghancurkan Islam, tapi melindungi ahli keluarganya dari kaum Quraisy.

There were lengthy discussions that I didn't jot down, either I didn't catch it, the contents were too confidential or simply I was too lazy and too sleepy to type it in...=/

6.20am - My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier......("~_~). Chatted with mom and friends to avoid sleeping...

7.36am - As always, the final hour always feel like the longest one. hmm...

8.00am - DONE! Alhamdulillah! =)

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